Chapter 23

“Did you expect me to just let it go?” Justin pushed Violet out of his way and into the apartment.. “I mean two years, Vi. I went two whole damn years thinking you were dead. But not just me, everyone who cared about you. Why would you puts through that?”

“I had no choice Justin!” Violet’s voice was shaky as her eyes pleaded with him to know the truth about the past two years. The fire burning in his eyes that seemed to be dark now, anger and betrayal were held where love and care were once held for her. And she put them there. Now she wasn’t sure if there was anything she could do to take the last two years away, or if she even wanted to. All she did know if that for the first time in her life, she was scared to look into Justin’s eyes because of what she might see within them.

“Bullshit! You were scared of Ben and picked the easy way out like always.”

“Fuck you, Justin!” Violet didn’t even feel it. One minute she stood there hearing Justin’s accusations toward her, and the next, he was laying on the floor, clutching the side of his face.

“What the fuck, Vi?”

“You have no right, Justin! This is my home. How dare you barge in here and accuse me of faking my own death when you know good and well what the police wanted to do if Ben ever came back so how dare you say this to me!” Violet could feel the tears burn in the back of her eyelids and she hastily wiped them away before they had the chance to fall in front of Justin. He didn’t deserve her tears. He was an asshole, and she wasn’t so sure she wanted to know him anymore. “You know what? I’m glad I wasn’t around you these past two years. You might not be here talking this way to me if I witnessed first-hand the type of arrogant son of a bitch you were becoming.”

The shouting finally penetrating his deep barrier of sleep, JC began waking up. What was going on? Then he realized Violet wasn’t beside him on the couch anymore. Sitting up, he took a look around and saw Justin on the floor, a red mark on his chin. He secretly hope she had punched him, he needed the sense knocked back into him. The way Violet was towering over him and the fire was burning in her eyes, he had no doubt about that.

Standing up, Justin inched closer to Violet’s face. “And I’m glad I wasn’t around to see what a dishonest, heartless bitch you’ve become.”

“Are you kidding me?“ Laughing incredulously at Justin, Violet shook her head. “Heartless? What about you taking Cameron to my club for a fuck?”

“That is not why I had taken her there.”

“Oh that’s bullshit and you know it.”

“Guys!” JC tried to get in between them but they ignored him, or just didn’t hear him. Either way the fighting kept going on.

“Bullshit? What about you telling everyone you were alive before me? I was suppose to be your best friend, Vi.”

“You were!”

“If I was your best friend you would have told me!”

“Guys!” JC shouted as loud as he could, finally getting both of them to look in his direction.

“WHAT?” They both yelled at him.

“What the hell is going on here?”

Justin immediately rolled his eyes at JC. “I guess things are back to normal.”

“Too much shit had happened these past two years for anything to ever be normal with us again.”

“What the hell is that?” Justin asked, looking around the room.

“Shit, we woke her up.”

“I’ll go get her, Vi.” JC said playing a hand on her shoulder.

“No, that’s ok. I’ll be right back. Try not to kill one another while I’m gone.” Violet said looking between JC and Justin before going to the back bedroom to get Blaire.

“Who?” Justin asked JC confusedly.

“The baby.” JC said simply, going back to the room leaving Justin to sit there and think or follow him back. He decided he needed to know more, so of course he followed him back.

Justin’s breath caught in his throat when he saw Violet cradling a small child, rocking her gently back to sleep. Looking to his left, he took in JC’s face. There was a smile. One he couldn’t explain. It was the look of a loving…father. Turning his attention back to Violet, he saw that she was looking at him. Their eyes met briefly before she turned her attention back to the little girl in her arms.

Not sure of what to do, Justin turned and went back to the living room to sit down. Suddenly he wasn’t feeling so well.

Laying Blaire back down in the crib, Violet turned to JC. She didn’t know what to say. Luckily he spoke first.

“You two need to talk. So I’m gonna go home.”

Nodding, Violet agreed that was probably best. “Ok. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Ok.” Planting a kiss on her forehead, JC turned to leave. Violet said good bye to him one last time before shutting the apartment door. Taking a deep breath, she turned around and went back in to the living room. She was not ready for this conversation to happen just yet, but it need to.

Hearing Violet re-enter the room, Justin didn’t look at her. He simply asked, “How old Is she?”

Hearing Justin speak so softly, Violet looked up at him. He looked so sad sitting there. He was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his head bent down, and his hands were twisting themselves in one another, something he did when he was nervous.

Hoping her voice wouldn’t fail her, she said, “She’ll be sixteen months next week.” As she sat on the couch.

“She JC’s?” Looking away from him, Violet felt the tears pool in her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that day. She didn’t want to cry, she didn’t want him to see her cry.

“I don’t know.”

Finally meeting Violet’s eyes, he didn’t hide the fact that his was killing him inside. Violet was the only person he had ever shown emotion in front of, besides his mother of course. His eyes were all glazed over and Violet prayed to God he wouldn’t cry. She could never handle it when he cried in front of her.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” His voice was a whisper now, and it was so shaky. Violet felt like complete and total crap for him finding out this way,. Maybe she should have just sucked it up and told him when everyone else found out. Maybe he would have reacted better.

“Of course I was going to tell you, Justin.”

“Then why didn’t you? Why did everyone have to find out before me?”

“Not everyone knows Justin. Only Danni, Joey, Kelly, JC, my mom, and Marissa know. Nobody else.”

“But why couldn’t you tell me?”

“I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“How you’d react when you found out your old best friend has been alive all this time raising a little girl that could quite possibly be yours. You don’t know how hard it was for me to actually see you earlier. I about wanted to die when I saw you at the blade with Cameron. And I am so sorry you had to find out like that. I wish I could change it, but I can’t.”

“How long have you been back?”

“A couple weeks.” Violet didn’t know what else to say. Nothing seemed to be right. So she just sat there, looking at him. He seemed to be thinking things over. Could they ever be friends again? For Blaire’s sake, if she did turn out to be Justin’s daughter, she hoped they would be able to be.

After a long silence, Justin spoke up again. “What’s her name?”

“Julianna Blaire. But I call her Blaire.”

“Why?”

“Because I had wanted it to be her first name but Blaire Julianna didn’t sound right to me.”

“I don’t get it, Vi. Ben was shot and killed last year. Why didn’t you ever come back?”

“I felt like too much time had passed. Everyone thought I was gone and in a better place. I didn’t think I could come back into your lives.”

“Violet, you were my life. God, I was such a mess after we thought you died, you have no idea. A part of me never wanted to believe you were dead, but I had to accept it. I buried all memories, all thoughts of you in that grave. If you weren’t alive and living life with me, I didn’t want to be either.”

“I’m sorry, J. I didn’t mean to put you through that. Any of you.”

“I know you didn’t. It’s just, I was drinking earlier. I couldn’t handle seeing you again so I went to the first bar I found and tried to drown my thoughts away with a bottle of JD. I know, dumb. But it was helping at first, but then it just got worse and worse until finally the nice bartender told me to get off my ass and make amends with you. I’m sorry for acting like a total asshole, but I swear I did not take Cameron to the club just to have sex with her. I never would do that to you.”

“I should know you would never do that to me. But you know how I get sometimes. I think the worst at first and I know I should have some faith in you. But I mean, we haven’t been together in two years. A lot can happen I that amount of time.”

“I know, I’m sorry, Violet. Do you think we can be friends again?”

Justin had moved over next to Violet on the couch, and they were now holding hands facing each other. Its been two years. A lot has happened in her life, and she was sure just as much, if not more had happened in his. Could they really pretend they hadn’t happened and go back to the way things were? Before all the confusion happened in the little love triangle?

“I really hope so, Justin. I really hope so.”

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