Chapter 13
“Hold up, what do you mean you think you’re in love with Justin?”
“Just what I said, D!” Throwing the wash cloth down into the sink she was just using to wipe her face off, Violet went down the hallway and into her bedroom.
“What happened last night, Vi? And don’t leave anything out or I’ll be forced to kill you!” Both Danni and Violet sat down on the bed and Violet explained to her what had went on last night between her and Justin.
“Ok, so Justin took me to see that opera I was telling you about. That just made my entire life!”
Ok, so brownie points for Justin. Violet had been talking about that play for months. Danni had tried getting her tickets for a late birthday present, but her attempts failed. At least Justin could get them. He was after all a celebrity.
“And then we went for a little drive and ended up going to that park with the stream. And that was where he told me he wished he was JC and he loves me. And has since basically the day we met. And I was just so...I don’t know. Caught up in the moment I guess? I was crying and he looked so sad, and he thought I didn’t feel the same way. D, I have wanted all that since we made the promise to each other. But he never knew how much it killed to know he didn’t keep his promise and I did. That was basically when I gave up on him.”
Ok, so Danni was now all caught up on the details. After Violet opening up to her and telling her exactly what that promise was they made each other, and how Violet had felt about him breaking it, Danni knew she was completely head over heels for the guy. But this was the first time in all those years that Violet had actually ever admitted it to herself. Well, out loud anyway.
“And what about JC?”
Shrugging, Violet told her the only thing she could at the time. “I don’t know. Tell him about our past I guess.”
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
“I didn’t before, but now, I think it’s best if I do.”
Danni nodded in agreement. “I’m gonna go take a shower and then take a little nap.” Winking at Danni, Violet added, “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
As she was walking away, Danni called to her. “You gonna tell me how good Thrusty Justy is?”
“Danni, I’ve only slept with him two nights, but that’s more than enough to know he is the best lover anyone could ever have.”
“I knew it.” Danni laughed.
~*~
Later that night as Violet was doing her rounds at the club, she felt someone come up behind her and wrap his arms around her. Violet was a little jumpy so she quickly turned around to see who it had been.
“JC. What are you doing here?” She said, a little more than surprised.
“I wanted to see you. I didn’t get to see all night last night and I didn’t have the chance to talk to you all day today.”
“Oh.” And the guilt ball in the pit of her stomach thickens. “I thought you had a lot of work and stuff to do tonight.”
“Yeah. We rescheduled the meeting with the group.”
“Oh my god. JC Chasez actually rescheduled something? I don’t believe it.”
“Oh hush.” JC said, leaning in to give her a kiss. Violet quickly pulled away and JC noticed she looked a little uneasy about something. “You ok?” He asked in a worried tone.
Violet contemplated on lying to him, but knew she couldn’t. It was now or never. Shaking her head, she replied, “No.”
“What’s wrong? Did something happen today? Oh god, did something happen last night? I swear if Justin hurt you...”
“JC, calm down! Justin didn’t hurt me.”
“Then what is it?” Violet grabbed JC’s hand and led him up to her office so at least they were alone in a semi-quiet place.
“JC, there’s something I really need to discuss with you. But you have to promise to hear me out. No talking until I’m done. No interrupting me. Ok?”
“Yeah. Of course. Just, what’s going on? You’re beginning to scare me.”
“You might want to sit down for this.” Violet grabbed him by the hands and led him over to her desk chair and sat him down. He watched as she nervously paced the office floor. “Ok. You’re not going to like what I have to tell you. Not one bit, I’m sure of it. I don’t even know how to tell you this, so I’m just going to come out with it from the beginning. Ok? Ok.” Taking a deep breath, Violet looked at JC. “You know how there’s that whole tradition saying you’re supposed to lose your virginity on the night of your senior prom?”
“Yeah.” JC shrugged. Where was she going with this? He already knew the whole story about her losing her virginity in high school. Why was she talking about her prom?
“Well, see, you know how Justin and I grew up together?” He nodded. “Well, when we were eight, we made a promise to each other. I mean, ok, so normally kids don’t think about that kind of thing, but it was just different with us. We were really close and knew about that sort of thing and we were practically living together anyway that we just thought...”
“Violet! You’re rambling.” JC stopped her.
“Sorry.” She smiled childishly. “Basically what I’m trying to say in so many words is, when we were eight, Justin and I made a promise that we would be each other’s first. Meaning we would lose our virginity to one another on the night of our senior prom. Well, Justin didn’t keep his side of the promise.” Violet stopped and looked at JC for some sort of reaction. But all she saw were his intense blue eyes staring straight at her, so she went on. “I found out later that the reason he decided to break his promise to me was because he had thought I had already broken it with Ben. But I hadn’t.”
Ok, so that JC hadn’t been expecting. Not once had he ever heard her speak the man’s name. He was always referred to “he who shall not be named” or “you know who” or “the asshole who doesn’t deserve to live.” But never, ever was he referred to as Ben. Especially by Violet.
“So, I decided I was still going to keep my end. And when Justin went to my prom with me, 'cause obviously he didn’t have one since he was one fifth of the group, we got a hotel room. He said nothing had to happen if I didn’t want it to. But I did want it to happen. And it did.”
“Why did you feel the need to tell me this?”
“I thought you deserved to know the truth about our past together.”
“Well, that’s understandable I guess.”
“But there’s more.” Violet quietly said. And just then, JC knew he wouldn’t like this one little bit. Call it a hunch, but he had a feeling he was going to be very upset by the time Violet was done talking with him. “You see, yesterday, after the opera, Justin took me to that park I love so much. While we were sitting there, he confessed some things to me. Some things that I thought only I felt.” Violet stopped for a moment and took a breath. She couldn’t believe she was about to tell JC that she had slept with his best friend last night, for the second time. “He told me how he truly felt about you and I dating.”
“How did he feel?” JC knew he really did not want to know this, but he felt like he needed to know.
“He wished everyday when he saw us together, that he were you. That he should be you. If only he had said something sooner. Then quite possibly he could be the one making me giggle every few minutes with sweet nothings whispered into my ear. Or be the one who could kiss me whenever he wanted just for the sake of acting on your feelings. But he’s not. And that kills him inside.” Violet looked straight into JC’s eyes and was almost completely scared to death of telling him this. “JC, he told me what I had been dying to hear him say to me since we were kids. And not once have I regretted giving myself to him because its what I’ve wanted for, like, ever. And then he kissed me.” Violet looked back at JC’s face and knew he was about ready to blow. “Please, say something.”
“Did you sleep with him?” He didn’t even look at her. He couldn’t.
Knowing that she had slept with his best friend while dating him, it just seemed a little too much to take on. And quite frankly, it was pissing him off way beyond belief. See, best friends have this unwritten law. They do not date each other’s girlfriends, nor do they even let it cross their minds to sleep together. That was just a no-no. Just Violet turning her head away was enough for him to know she had turned it in shame. She had in fact slept with Justin again. And was not even going to try to deny it.
Nodding, JC quickly brushed past her exited the office. Violet stood there in shock for a moment before starting to chase after him. She called out his name until she got outside and finally stopped him.
“Will you say something to me?”
“What do you want me to say Violet?”
“I don’t know. Anything. Yell at me, hit me, dump me if you want to! Just say something, please.”
“Fine. I’ll say something. I feel like our entire relationship was based on one big old fat lie.”
“How do you figure?”
“Like you just wanted to make Justin jealous so you decided to date the best friend. Just so you could get to what you really wanted.”
“That’s not true and you know that!” Violet yelled at him. How could he think that about her? She loved Justin, yeah. But she loved JC just as much. They had been talking about marriage and children for Christ’s sake!
“Isn’t it?” He gave her the coldest stare, Violet never felt so afraid.
“Vi, if you want me to fight him for you, you’re wasting your time. I’m not gonna do that. It’s your life. You can live it however you want. I just don’t want to be a part of that.” He started to walk away but Violet called after him.
“But what if I do?”
“You have history with Justin! You even just said yourself you’ve been waiting for this since you were a kid! How can I even start to compete with that?”
“I don’t want you to.”
“Look, Violet, I wish I could just say choose. If you pick me, great, if you don’t, fine. Whatever makes you happy. But I can’t do that. I want to be with you. You know that. Everyone knows that! But if I’m not in your life with a future of marriage, then I can’t be in your life at all. I’m sorry.” As a tear fell down JC’s cheek, he turned and walked away. Away from Violet, away from everything.
Violet held herself together pretty well. Until she reached her office that is. As soon as that door closed, Violet fell to the floor and let on the water works. She sobbed alone on her floor for fifteen minutes before anyone decided to check in on her. They all saw what had happened and knew that with violet, she needed a little while before talking to anyone. Well, they figured it had been long enough.
Tommy and Shorty went into the office and Violet immediately ran into Shorty’s arms, then Tommy’s.
“I know it’s hard. How about we get you home so you can rest?” Nodding, Violet wiped her eyes dry, only to be followed by another spit of tears. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t speak. All she could do was stand there, shaking and sobbing. What had she done? She felt like she had destroyed the only chance at happiness she had.
After Tommy dropped her off at home, Violet sat with Danni and they both cried for her. When she started to calm down some, Violet began telling Danni everything that had happened between she and JC. She eventually fell into a restless sleep on the couch around 2:30 AM while watching Pretty Woman with Danni.