The next morning I woke up tired. My eyes burned and my head pounded from the lack of sleep from the night before. I had cried all my tears out, however the pain of breaking up with Jonathan was still there. I knew it would take time to get over him, but I knew deep down I would be okay.
A light knock came at the door. I looked up to see Annie standing in the doorway. I should be angry at her, I should not want to talk to her, but she was my sister. I gestured for her to walk in.
“Are you feeling any better?” she asked as she took her seat next to me on my bed.
I nodded. “I’ll live.”
She nodded and shifted slightly, staring down at the comforter. “Are you leaving today?”
“Yeah, my flight leaves tonight.”
Annie looked at me. Her eyes were sad and filled with tears. “Annie,” I said in a concern tone “what’s wrong?”
Tears began to trickle down her cheeks. “I never meant for you and Jonathan to break up, I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, Annie.” I pulled her into a tight hug. “It’s okay.”
She pulled back. “No it’s not. I’ve been acting like a brat. I just…I was jealous.”
I looked at her confused. “Why were you jealous?”
“Because Dad loves you more than me. He’s always worried about you.”
“Aw sweetie, Dad does not love me more than you. He loves us the same. But if he seems like he is always worried about me, it’s because I live thousands of miles away and he can’t see me when he wants to. But he worries about you too. He’s not to trill with you modeling, you know. You and Allison are his little girls.”
Annie laughed softly and she smiled. “Yeah.”
“Annie, you do know if you ever EVER need to talk to me I’m just a phone call away.”
She nodded. “I know.”
“Call me anytime, day or night.” Again she nodded. I pulled her into another hug. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Me too. Can I come visit you some time?”
“I don’t see why not. How are you and Christian doing?”
Annie made a face. “We broke up.”
“Aw, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “He was a little too old for me anyways.”
I just laughed and shook my head.
Later that afternoon, I found myself alone in the house. Everyone had gone out to do their thing but I was tired and decided to stay home.
I sat on the couch in the family room. Sandy sat beside me, her chin resting on my leg. I petted her head as I took a glance around the room. It was weird. I never really got a good look at this room until now. When my family moved to LA from Texas I was angry, so angry I never really took the time to look. I didn’t give this place a chance.
But now that I was back home, I was beginning to see that being home wasn’t that bad. I did know though, I was going to miss being home with the family despite everything that has happened.
I heard the front door open and close and I immediately sprang to my feet. “Ashley?” I said, catching her before she went upstairs.
She stopped and turned around to walk back to the door. “I’m not talking to you.”
“Ashley, please.” I caught up with her outside. I grabbed her arm and swung her around. “We need to talk about this. I’m leaving tonight.”
She crossed her arms and cocked her hips. “Fine, let’s talk then.”
I nodded. “I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt anyone. Please tell me you will forgive me.”
Ashley sighed and looked away then back at me. “You could have told me you still had feelings for him.”
I gave her an odd look. “I don’t.”
She looked at me and laughed. The expression I gave her was priceless. Especially when she knew the truth. “Adrienne, I wish can help you, but I can’t.”
“I’m not asking for your help. I’m just asking for your forgiveness.”
“Well, you got it. It’s just…” She thought for a moment and said, “Never mind.” She pulled me into a tight hug. “You be careful going back home. I’ll miss ya.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
“Have you decided if you’re coming to the fashion show?”
“Um…I really haven’t thought about it, so why don’t you hold onto my tickets and I’ll give you call.”
“Sounds good.” Ashley walked back towards the house. “Are
you coming?”
From a distance I saw JC driving into his driveway. I turned to Ashley. “Uh…no. I have something I have to do. I’ll be back in a little awhile.”
“Do you need to borrow my car?”
“No, I’m going to walk,” I said over my shoulder as I started down the driveway.
Ashley smiled knowing where I was headed and went into the house, closing the door behind her.
Reaching JC’s house I walked up the driveway and saw JC sitting in his car with the door open and the engine off. I walked up and knocked on the back passenger window to get his attention. It worked.
“Shit, Adrienne,” said JC “you scared the hell out of me.”
I couldn’t help but laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
Shaking his head, he got out of his car and closed the door. “I’m surprised to see you.”
“Yeah.” I smiled nervously and tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ear. “I’m leaving tonight and I was hoping we could talk before I leave.”
“Oh, um, yeah, sure. Come on in.” I followed JC into his house and into his living room.
I sat down on the couch and glanced around. It had been a long time since I had been in JC’s home. Everything looked pretty much the same. “Everything looks the same.”
JC chuckled softly as he glanced around the room. “Yeah, well, you know me. I’m not much into decorating.”
I gave JC a smile and then turned away. I was working up the courage to bring up the issue with us, but it was a lot harder than I expected. A short moment of silence settled between us. “JC,” I finally said. He looked at me. “That kiss at the party it was a mistake.”
“How can you say that? We both wanted it. You can’t honestly tell me when I kissed you, you didn’t feel anything.”
I looked down and then looked back up at JC. I would be lying if I didn’t feel anything, but I wasn’t ready to admit it yet. “No, I’m sorry.”
He stood up. He was visibly upset. “No, you’re lying. Why are you lying? We can be together now…really together. Can’t you see that?”
“JC, I’m sorry.” I stood up and started towards the door, but JC’s hand stopped me. He swung me around and pulled me close.
“Please don’t go,” he said, caressing my cheek. “We can be together now. You just have to want to.”
A single tear tickle down my cheek as I remembered wanting to be JC, but having to hide our relationship from everyone. It could be different now, but I just wasn’t ready. “I can’t,” I said.
“Yes you can,” he said as he raised my chin and kissed me and then deepened it.